Chinese Funeral Flowers & Etiquette: Colors, Wreaths and What to Write

Flowers are an important part of a traditional Chinese funeral, but the rules are different from a typical American service. The right colors are white and yellow, the classic tribute is a standing wreath with a ribbon, and red is the one color to avoid completely.

Chinese families in the United States range from strictly traditional to fully Westernized, and many are Christian, Buddhist, Taoist or a blend. This guide covers what is appropriate for most traditional and mixed families. If you know the family’s practice, follow it.

Not sure what to send? Three white-flower choices

Picked from the Flowers Fast sympathy collection. Prices as listed on September 30, 2026, and may change.

For the home or memorial table

FTD At Peace Bouquet

$57.90

White gladiolus in a clear glass vase. Quiet and simple.

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For the family’s home

FTD Long Stem White Rose Bouquet

$69.90

A dozen white roses. White is the color of mourning in many Asian and South Asian traditions.

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For the service

Exquisite Tribute Standing Spray – White Ribbon

$159.90

White roses, lilies and chrysanthemums on an easel. Send it when the family has welcomed flowers.

See this one

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The Basic Tradition

• The wake can last several days. Family and friends visit the funeral home to pay respects before the funeral itself.
• There is usually an altar with a photo of the person who died, incense, candles, fruit and flowers.
• Burial and cremation are both common.
• Mourning continues after the funeral. Many families observe prayers every seven days for 49 days, and remember ancestors each year at the Qingming Festival in spring.

Are Flowers Appropriate?

Yes. Flowers are expected at most Chinese funerals, and a floral tribute from friends, coworkers or a business is a traditional way of showing respect. The display of tributes at the wake is often large, and companies and associations commonly send a standing wreath.

Where to Send Flowers

To the funeral home, for the wake

This is where most tributes go. Send them so they arrive before the first evening of the wake, since that is when most visitors come. Call the funeral home to confirm the name the service is listed under and the dates.

To the family’s home

Less common than sending to the wake. If you cannot attend and the service has already happened, a card and a fruit basket to the home are usually a better fit than flowers.

What Colors and Types?

White and yellow

White is the traditional color of mourning in Chinese culture. Yellow is also used, and white and yellow chrysanthemums are the classic funeral flower. White lilies, white orchids and white roses are also appropriate.

Standing wreaths

The most traditional tribute is a round wreath on an easel, usually white and yellow. A cloth or paper ribbon is attached with the sender’s name and a short message. For a coworker, a business contact or a group, this is the standard choice.

Avoid

• Red and pink. Red is the color of weddings, luck and celebration. It is considered inappropriate at a funeral.
• Bright mixed bouquets in festive colors.
• Anything that looks like a celebration gift, such as balloons or bows in bright colors.

The Ribbon or Banner

Chinese funeral wreaths usually carry a ribbon with two parts: a short tribute to the person who died, and the name of the sender. Traditional tributes are four-character phrases in Chinese. A common one is 音容宛在, which roughly means “your voice and face remain with us.”

If you do not read Chinese, it is perfectly fine to use English. Something like “In loving memory” or “With deepest sympathy,” followed by your name or your company’s name, is correct. If you want a Chinese phrase, ask a Chinese-speaking friend or a local Chinese florist to confirm it before it is printed.

Condolence Money

Many Chinese families follow the custom of guests giving a gift of money in a white envelope at the wake, often called “white gold.” It helps the family with funeral costs. Traditionally the amount is an odd number, and amounts containing the number 4 are avoided because the word sounds like “death.” Never use a red envelope for a funeral.

If you are close to the family or attending the wake, this is a thoughtful and expected gesture. If you are not sure the family follows it, flowers and a card are always correct.

What to Write on a Card

“With deepest sympathy on the loss of [Name]. Our thoughts are with your family.”

“In loving memory of [Name]. May you find comfort and strength in the days ahead.”

“[Name] will be deeply missed. We are honored to have known them.”

Timing

• Wreaths and arrangements: before the first night of the wake.
• Condolence money: handed to the family or placed at the reception table during the wake.
• Fruit or a card to the home: any time in the first few weeks.
• The 49-day mark: some families hold a final memorial. A card at this point is a kind way to show you have not forgotten.

Practical Notes if Attending

• Wear black, white or dark muted colors. Never red, and avoid bright prints.
• You may be invited to bow or offer incense at the altar. Follow the person ahead of you. Standing quietly is also fine.
• Families of Christian faith often hold a service that looks like a typical American funeral. The white-and-yellow and no-red guidance still applies.

A Final Practical Note

The two details that matter most are color and timing: white or yellow, never red, and delivered before the wake begins. Get those right and the family will read your tribute as the respect it is meant to be.

When in doubt about wording or the money custom, ask a mutual friend or the funeral home. Funeral homes that serve Chinese families handle these questions every week.